Porn addiction is a real and growing problem being observed among children as young as 9 or 10 and frequently overlooked among teens whose parents are unaware of how they spend their time online. The consequence of allowing children to spend endless hours online, to use the Internet behind closed doors from a young age and just the fact that parents have lost control of the content that their children are exposed to has led to an epidemic. The problem can become so bad that professional treatment may be required and like any substance addiction, sometimes treatment in a residential addiction facility is required.

Most people are not aware that the problem is becoming so common that full-fledged pornography addiction treatment programs have been developed and are being offered in facilities around the country. Find the nearest porn addiction program here:

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Not on the map? Email us at sheryl@internet-addiction-guide.com to have your US pornography addiction program added.

Ok, it’s not really DESTROYING your brain, but it definitely is reshaping it and possibly making it smaller in some areas. This infographic is a cynical, but kind of accurate image of what is going on with our online brains.

This infographic about Internet Addiction paints a concise picture of the many issues that we need to be concerned about relating to heavy Internet use. Today, heavy internet users are not the geeks and gamers closed up in their rooms. It’s pretty much all of us — whether it be for work, shopping, Facebook, entertainment, school — we are all using the Internet in our daily lives and frequently spending a large part of our day online.

It’s only in recent years that mental health professionals and others have started to take a serious look at how this drastic shift in how we spend our time, get our information, interact with others and get through our days, is actually impacting our mental (and physical) state. The Internet is changing who we are, how we function and how we think. So it’s worth paying attention.

Anyone who has not had an eating disorder or known someone that suffers from an eating disorder will probably be very surprised to learn that there are many websites out there that actually help girls to learn how to be anorexic, how to hide binging and purging and provide support in efforts to lose weight beyond healthy limits.
Parents need to be aware of this. School personnel should know. And something needs to be done.

But even beyond those blatant websites and forums that coach and teach young women to abuse their bodies to strive to be the thinnest they can be, the Internet is playing a key role in promoting the spread of anorexia and other eating disorders. Let me explain.

1. Kids and young adults spend so much time online. You can not ignore the influence that the content they view will have on them. What is that content? Often, it is a lot of celebs, models, talk about what is sexy, what is hot, what is trendy. The intense and constant exposure, has a profound effect on how a young mind comes to see himself and what she strives to be.

2. And then, of course, there is social networking. Kids upload their daily lives through photos and video. They receive comments, make comments and daily dialogues are taking place, in real-time, about looks, who is fat, who is thin, who looks good. Even if a child does not upload photos of herself, chances are that someone else will. She gets tagged and that’s it. She’s online for all to see and comment on and she has no control. This can be compared to the type of exposure that the average celebrity is exposed to! But celebrities and public personalities choose a path which attracts media attention, they usually have protective staff to help handle the attention and that is a big part of what being a celebrity is about. Children, are not prepared for this type of pressure and exposure, nor should they need to be.

Insults are tossed around easily, even among friends. And when a child or teen is the focus of cyberbullying — the insults can be so powerful and so constant, that it becomes unbearable, even for a child with self confidence.

The Internet, with all the good it has to offer, has become a breeding ground for eating disorders to develop in some individuals. Of course those people may already have genetic and environmental predispositions that can lead to the development of an eating disorder. But when someone is vulnerable and given additional opportunities to take their obsession in thinness to an extreme, they are more likely to develop a problem.

Most parents are well aware of online dangers that directly threaten their children physically — meeting strangers online, giving out personal details. And most are probably aware that they have to be involved in vetting the content that their children are viewing — but in that case, they are usually only thinking about pornography. Life in the digital age is having a profound impact on our lives and especially on our children’s lives and far too often, it is not a positive effect.

This is a real statistic.  33% of UK divorce petitions refer to Facebook (Divorce Online).

It’s not surprising that Facebook plays a role in so many divorces today. I would not be too quick to suggest that couples ban Facebook from their lives because I am not so sure those same people won’t end up lawyering up anyway, but I would suggest that it become a topic of discussion among couples. Let’s look at the reasons Facebook is causing marital trouble and how to prevent that trouble:

1. Facebook allows us to effortlessly maintain contact with anyone we were ever in a relationship with! For those of us who are a bit older, think of it like the pile of photos of an old flame you may have stored somewhere. Some may feel they should toss those photos out. Some are happy to keep them in a box stored away in the attic. For most, they may just be a nice memory of younger days. But old photos don’t exist for today’s young couples. Their memories are all stored conveniently, at hands reach, on the Facebook timeline. THey don’t even have time to turn into memories because they keep living on. As old boyfriends update their status — a new job, pictures of a new girlfriend, a birthday celebration with a family you used to feel a part of — you are constantly reminded of what you left behind – or at least that may be how it feels to your new husband.

So what do you do? You talk about it. Even if it is awkward.

Couples should agree on a set of rules about keeping in touch with old boyfriends and girlfriends. Every situation is unique. But be honest with each other and respect each others concerns. Sometimes, it’s just better to “unfriend” someone and avoid any potential jealousy.

2.  Many people feel that flirting on Facebook is harmless. But a spouse may not agree. Just like you (hopefully) would not openly flirt with a girl sitting at the table next to you while out to dinner with your wife, you may want to think twice about flirting online from the comfort of your own home. It can be insulting and even dangerous. Online relationships can become intense even if you never meet the person face to face. If you find that you are drawn to such interactions, take some time to consider why that is happening. It may be an indication of a real problem.

3. Many people report feeling actual symptoms of addiction to Facebook. Checking into Facebook constantly throughout the day, uploading photos and videos of everything, changing status multiple times through the day. It can easily interfere with real life. In general, spending too much time online is not healthy. It’s not good for your physical well-being and it can dampen a relationship. With the current smartphone revolution, it is not uncommon to see couples out on a date but spending most of their time texting to friends or playing with some new app.

So what do you do? If you are the compulsive digital type, work on reducing your screen time. Just think of it as being considerate. When you are together and talking – don’t start texting, updating your status, answering calls constantly. And certainly don’t interrupt intimate moments for Facebook! If it’s your spouse who is spending too much time on Facebook or other online activities, tell him. Explain how it makes you feel and let him know that you are interested in spending quality time together.

So many people today are wondering if they are addicted to their smartphones, the internet, digital content . . . But even if you are spending A LOT of time online, texting and in front of the computer, you may not necessarily be addicted. You might just need a little lesson in etiquette. Here is a great infographic by @mobilematthews that perfectly summarizes the typical situations that people face on dates and what is polite cellphone use. There is nothing that annoys me more than getting together with a friend and sitting silently watching her talk on her phone or text. Why do the people calling her take priority over me, the one who took time to meet face-to-face? Sometimes, I consider taking out my iPhone, filming us sitting there at the table, each in our own world’s, and sending her the clip via Facebook. Now that would be absurd.

Angry Birds is a digital game phenomena that deserves some attention here. The game is a completely strange concept so some are surprised by its incredible success. Players use a slingshot to launch birds at pigs with the intent of destroying all the pigs. As you advance in the game, new birds appear, some have special abilities that you can activate. There is a free version that is the most popular Angry Bird version. And special promotional versions of the game have also been released for free. For more advanced play, players can pay a minimal fee to get the full version. The research referenced below reports that a majority of people report that Angry Birds makes them feel joy and relaxed. I am not totally convinced, but have to admit I have not dared to play — for fear of becoming addicted!
This infographic takes a look at just why Angry Birds is so addictive.

Infographic by: AYTM Market Research

Anders Behring Breivik, a 32-year-old Norwegian man killed over 90 people at a shooting this weekend on the island of Utoya, about 19 miles northwest of Oslo, Norway. Breivik opened fire at a youth camp, shortly after setting off a bomb which killed 7 at a government building. He has reportedly said he used Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 to learn combat skills for an upcoming war with Islam.

“I just bought Modern Warfare 2, the game. It is probably the best military simulator out there and it’s one of the hottest games this year. … I see MW2 more as a part of my training-simulation than anything else. I’ve still learned to love it though and especially the multiplayer part is amazing. You can more or less completely simulate actual operations.”

While I would not try to argue that video games drove Breivik to do what he did but this does point to a few important issues worth examining. The Call of Duty was an important training tool for what was a frightening successful attack. This is a man without police or military training after all. So I would suggest considering the idea of allowing children to play such a video game. In general, Breivik mentions being a video game enthusiast and some sites report that he was addicted to World of Warcraft. Again, I am not suggesting those games are responsible for his actions. But I would suggest that the gaming may have contributed to his social alienation that led him to commit such a crime.

A recent Supreme Court case challenged the state of California’s ban on the sale of violent video games to children. I personally can not think of a more straight forward no brainer. Yes, banning the sale of violent video games, the kinds that include hardcore violence and even rape, should obviously not be sold to children, similarly to the way pornography, alcohol and tobacco are not sold to children.

I can’t get my head around the Supreme Court Decision and the way they defended the decision. Antonin Scalia likened the violence in the video games to the violence in fables that previous generations of children had read to them. And all I can say is is WHAT???

Let’s talk specifics here.  One game, examined by the court, involves having the players accumulate points for raping a mother and her daughters. Apparently, according to the distinguished judges, parents have a right to expose their children to these “ideas”.  Yes you read that right — they consider that the themes of rape and murder in these video games to be ideas to which a parent may want to expose his child.

Now this raises two alarms for me. First of all, the law simply prevented stores from selling these games to minors. So in essence, a parent could still buy the game for their children if they were set on exposing them to the ideas contained in the games. So what was the real motivation of appealing the law? Second, if our Supreme Court categorizes rape as an idea to which a parent can expose their child, then where does the line get drawn? It seems to me that it opens up the possibility for protecting the right of adults to expose children to pornography as well. I mean, is there a difference between rape and porn in a video game? Is it really only a parent’s decision to decide what is appropriate or not for their child? Or does society need to play some role in setting reasonable norms?

When the judges talk about parents, we all automatically imagine  good, caring, responsible people who want to protect their right to raise their children as they see fit. Unfortunately, that’s not realistic. Depraved people have children. Children have children. People who are working too hard to even know what their children are doing during the day, have children.

The American legal system is sending a  frightening message. That anything that some sick , depraved mind may come up with can be offered to the public. That we all have the right to sell that material and to buy that material. And that we simply have to cross our fingers that our own children don’t have to go to school with the kids who play those games, watch those movies, visit those website and are constantly exposed to those “ideas”. And as they become adults, we just have to hope that our adult children don’t fall victim to those who were unfortunate enough to not have anyone looking out for their emotional and sexual health in the digital age.

Call me naive, but why the game manufacturers would take the trouble to contest the law, is beyond my comprehension. Most decent people draw the line somewhere when it comes to profits. Do the game manufacturers really believe, that it’s acceptable for children to be exposed to extreme violence? And not only exposed, like they could be when watching the news — but as an interactive experience intended to be repeated over and over.

As games become increasingly sophisticated, we are not far away from more advanced technology being used to create even more realistic experiences. Just imagine what we are in for.

More and more children are at risk of developing an online gaming addiction. If you feel you don’t have the power to reduce that risk, think again. It’s not only something you can do — it is your responsibility to do it.

One key reason that children have parents is because they can’t monitor themselves. It’s not something any parent should expect of a child. If you stick them in a room with a computer and expect them to somehow know where the limits should be, you should be ready to deal with the consequences. But why do that? Why take the risk?

Adults are also becoming addicted to online gaming but at a far lower rate. An adult, who gets into gaming later in life, will most likely have more developed abilities to self-monitor. Adults are more self aware and able to correct their actions. For example, if an adult finds that a late night gaming session has caused them to perform poorly at work the next day due to fatigue, they are more capable of recognizing the problem and simply correcting the behavior — next time they play video games in the evening, they may consciously choose to stop at a reasonable hour in order to get enough sleep. A child or teenager, is obviously less likely to have that ability.

So what are parents supposed to do when they notice their children spending what seems to be a lot of time playing computer games? It’s hard to stand up against the typical responses kids give when they are told to stop playing or to shut off their computer:

“I don’t have anything else to do.”
“So I’ll watch TV instead — will that make you happy?”
“All the other parents let their kids play as much as they want!”
“I’m not bothering anyone – leave me alone.”

Well, ideally, you don’t reach this situation. Ideally, you have clear, simple rules about how much time can be spent online, playing games, using Facebook, etc. Ideally, your kids don’t have a computer in their room or if they do, are not permitted to sit online with the door closed for hours. Ideally, you don’t find yourself in a situation where you have to “take away” Internet privileges because for the child, it will feel like their freedom is being revoked and that is going to be tough on both of you.

So then maybe, if he’s already been given the freedom, just hope he will mature and realize that too much time playing games and sitting in front of the screen is not healthy.

Maybe. But that’s a really big maybe. So if you notice that something does not look right — He comes home from school and goes straight to his room, door closed and he’s playing for hours. She stops seeing friends and prefers to be online. He’s chronically tired. He is behaving in an anti-social manner — then chances are, something is not right.

Get control. Set limits. Spell out guidelines. Be involved. Talk. Express concern. Don’t wait to find out what the consequences could be.